So it's 1.21am and I'm still so irritated. GRRR!! Nakakainis talaga!!! Andun na eh!!! @##W$$#@!@$##@%! Hindi nakaget over?? HUHU. And that is why hindi ko talaga masabi sa sarili ko na good job, well done. It's a fucking fail. I'm a fucking fail, a fucking disappointment. UGH I disgust myself! So stupid! My friends think I'm stupid, I think I'm stupid, and I can't bear this stupidity any longer!!!!! Haha anubayan I'm too old for teenage angst, but it is sadly true. Stupidity knows no age anyway.

Naiinis lang ako kasi WTF I dedicated an entire weekend for this and it ends up as FAIL. I'm already a disappointment to my father, and I hate being a disappointment to myself as well. I guess this is what I get for leaving responsibilities at home and at work, and most especially, thesiswork, which needs my urgent attention.. I'm not supposed to be gallivanting up north, hello! Tapos puro ka-failan pa mangyayari. I should have prepared better, I should have been more assertive!! Fuck what others think sometimes. Hay. I am so angry.. Ano ba naman kasi bat ko pa pinagpipilitan sarili ko sa mga ganitong gawain. Last na talaga to. Ayoko na!!! Nakakadepress.

I need something GV. Ang nega nega ko lately. I know there are a lot to be thankful for, and indeed I'm grateful. But this just keeps grating my nerves, hindi ko talaga malet go :(( Yun nalang kasiyahan ko e (which some people think of as crazy, adik.. but to each his own. Thank god for CSers! They understand!) tapos idedeprive ko pa sarili ko? why?? Why?? I'm losing so much self-respect. I need to unlurlurify. See? 

 At least they're happy, I think? Sana ako rin :((

I think I need a friend, but I don't know who will bother with my rants. 730 friends, says facebook. What a joke. They'll probably think it's stupid and shallow to and it is! Pero ganito talaga yung trip ko e. Iba'tibang trip lang yan. 

I think I need to raid the fridge now. Look for something GV-inducing. Haay nagiguilty talaga ko, andami ko nang missed deadlines at super gipit na ko ng oras for raket (bakit ko ba kasi inaccept pa in the first place? Hay.), thesis, and the video for tatay.. I need more time! :(( Tapos nagawa ko pang maglakwatsa ano. Wala ka talagang priorities. It's a precious two days, tapos ganito lang yung result :(( Huge disappointment. 

Haynako tumigil ka na nga! Will your crying be a nightly occurrence? Stop it!!

Ewan bakit napaka emotional ko lately at madaling mariita. I think some Les Mis might cure this. Tama na OK?

PS Thank you po talaga Sir for keeping us alive :)

Posted by chronicwind on August 15, 2011 at 01:38 AM | catch a feather
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