He called me babe! Again! After n months! 

My heart leapt. My stomach lurched.

WTF is this kilig?????

(Haynako Bea dont take it seriously, na-miss niya lang magflirt)

He told me he met someone two weeks ago, and they're seeing each other, and he thinks it's heading to a relationship.

And I'm genuinely happy for him. (so that's why he's taking so long to reply HAHAHA)

I'm so relieved, and grateful that he told me early on, before I book a flight, before I pay for visa reqts hahaha

When I started talking to him again, after 2 weeks no contact, I told myself that I can start it already because it would be okay if he dates someone else

And that theory has been tested today: I am even happier than I realize haha

It's like a huge weight has been lifted off me

Sure there are pangs of sadness, of nostalgia, of a certain dream i have to let go (having super cute kids HAHAHA)

But it's all for the better. I regret nothing :)

So may naglalako ng walis tambo outside our house at bumili si tatay. I'm inexplicably happy??? Ansaya saya na may matino na kaming walis huhuhuhahaha

*

A very good friend is getting married and! getting a scholarship to Australia!!! Happy for this gurrrl she deserves it so much waaah ansaya din talaga ng second-hand happiness ano poooo

* 

Day 3 of Heartbreak no.3 (all the same guy HAHAHA) and I feel... normal. Light, even! I'm back to my original move to Dumaguete plans and I am so excited, way way more excited about this than I ever was at the thought of moving halfway across the world to be with him.

*

I let the tears fall yesterday, in the bathroom, during work hours. Afterwards I installed Tinder again, and saw messages from this Pakistani naudlot karat (HAHAHA) who I thought ghosted me. Turns out he was really sick, and was asking for forgiveness. I really like this guy so nawala yung sadness ko instantly. Nakakatakot yung bigla kong pagturn around ng feelings. One moment I was crying of sadness and the next I'm super kilig for this other guy? Haha jusq validation lang talaga ang kailangan ko ano, validation that someone likes me.

*

I guess I just needed to mourn the loss of the whatcould'vebeens. Just for a day. But that loss just opens up more whatcouldbe's. And now, it's time to celebrate that. :)

I realize I had the right person! At the right time! Just at the wrong location.

I'm nothing but grateful

Talo nanaman po ang taumbayan

My pakistani naudlot karat messaged me again and WAAAA kinikilig akooo HELP

a very bleak future with this one, but I want to meet him at least!! Universe do your thing

So... namatay-matay lang naman ako sa yoga kanina

(but also ang hot ko? hahahah chinecheck out ko lang sarili ko sa mirror lels wat is ggss. but also im so unflexible need to work on that)

Life has been pretty quiet lately

Nakakamiss magkaroon ng kalandian

It's been almost a week since he asked "how are you" and then completely seenzoned my long-ass reply... and i hate to admit it but it feels lonely. 

Bakit pa ba kasi itatanong kung di rin naman pala interested sa reply ano po!!!

hurgghh wala nalolonely lang talaga ako