Entries for May, 2020

Maybe if I can make someone happy I wouldn't wallow in my gnawing sadness

Posted by chronicwind on May 9, 2020 at 09:44 PM | catch a feather

New goal: live ALL the lifetimes I imagine myself in, in THIS lifetime.

Posted by chronicwind on May 14, 2020 at 12:56 AM | catch a feather

Alam mo, bwisit ka talaga sa buhay ko

(me to me)

Posted by chronicwind on May 16, 2020 at 03:15 AM | catch a feather

Ok kelangan ko ng park seo joon pangontra sa stess na dulot ng press briefing n duts. Ako nga na sa twitter lang nakikibalita sukang suka na... paano pa kaya yung journalists haay. Ang galing nila. We dont deserve a duterte and cronies talaga.

Never ko talaga inakala na ippersuade ko friends ko na pumunta/magstay na lang sa ibang bansa. Me to ofw friends who want to come home: tfff whyyy?? Stay na lang kayo diyan please.

Never ko rin naisip before na gugustuhin kong lisanin amg bansa for good.

Gais may pag-asa pa ba?

Nakayanan natin ilagay si leni as VP; is this sliver of hope enough? Is it repeatable? Ang hopeless na rin ng tingin ko for the next elections... 

...

Exactly one year ago it was my first day in Belgium. Haay ansaya ko nun. Natupad ko promise ko to myself: celebrate his birthday with him. May 20 na pala at birthday na nya. Now, he is expecting a child with his current girlfriend and we don't talk anymore. Wala namang kawalan sakin actually, its just... strange? How things can change in a year. Or in a few months nga lang eh.

Nakakanostalgia.

mag whats wrong with secretary kim na nga muna ko

Posted by chronicwind on May 20, 2020 at 01:08 AM | catch a feather

"Where do we live?" AMPPPP

KINIKILIG AKO SA TAONG TOOO ANO BAAAA

context: 

yung reply niya sa eliminate a carb post sa twitter is 'pasta'

buti it's not rice, so sabi ko "ok you can live with me"  tapos biglang???

WHERE DO WE LIVE ampota!!!fsalsdjfa;ldfkj

HINDI AKO PREPARED SA REPLY NIYA huhuhuUHU

(ayan naman kasi si sizt manlalandi tas hindi kayang ihandle ma-landi back)

ang ineexpect ko lang na irrereply niya is "haha" or even *no response*

BUT THIS IS ???? YUNG PUSO KO??????

hhaha how to tell him na-plan ko na yung life namin together cHAR NOT CHAR??

jusq pag nagkatuluyan talaga kami, I'd be so proud of myself

universe pls

Posted by chronicwind on May 20, 2020 at 11:31 PM | 2 caught a feather

sooooo wala na atang balak magreply yon im sad

Posted by chronicwind on May 22, 2020 at 06:24 PM | catch a feather

On my deathbed I just want to be able to tell mysellf,

"Well. It's been nice knowing you"

Posted by chronicwind on May 24, 2020 at 09:43 PM | catch a feather

it is in the doing 

Posted by chronicwind on May 25, 2020 at 05:14 PM | catch a feather

*

His partner gave birth today so now he has a newborn. I don't know what to feel about it actually. Of course I am happy that she's a healthy baby. She's adorable. But there's a twinge in me that feels -- I hate to admit it -- jealous? And I don't know where that's coming from, because it's not a life I want to live right now anyway. I've tried living with him and I know that it's not it, he's not it. So I don't know. Maybe it's just a wave of grief -- or the unfairness of it all? Na bawal siya maging mas masaya than me. Coz bakit siya may bagong milestone sa buhay, agad agad, while I'm here, discontented? I know what I feel is irrational and unfair and of course he deserves happiness. Maybe inggit nga lang talaga ko -- that deep down I also want the happiness that comes with having a child?? Haay if I have all the money in the world talaga.... But even then I'm conflicted because I don't think I can live with the guilt of bringing a child into this cruel world. Maybe inggit lang talaga ako na yung ibang tao, nagagawa nila yun. Anyway so ayon inggitera lang talaga ko

Posted by chronicwind on June 1, 2020 at 12:01 AM | 2 caught a feather
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