"So, dating someone who is grieving is kind of a complex concept because somebody who’s grieving isn’t necessarily in the place where they’re capable of giving."

http://jasminbalance.com/youtube/how-do-i-handle-dating-someone-who-is-grieving/

Ok i know this still haunts me; the guilt that I should've given more but remember, self: you are not at fault here

"It is a long process," according to Temes. "Those who are grieving will get back to themselves when they are ready, not when you invite them to a party or demand they pull themselves together."

- http://www.yourtango.com/200935426/how-help-partner-grieve

also this: http://dearwendy.com/is-it-grief-or-is-he-just-not-into-me/

and this: "but its so exhausting to grieve, before and after someone's death..it takes all your energy to hold yourself up and make yourself function..you can't give yourself properly to another person." https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=365282