I love my friends I really do I think what makes us strong is that we accept each other, flaws and all. Maybe that's all you really need in a friendship.

*

I need to write more, this year has gone by in a blur. It's the blurriest year ever I could almost hear the whoosh.

*

Things are going... ok with him. He is such a gentleman, opening the car door for me every single time (seriously, who does this???) and is sooo respectful of my feelings. This one's a keeper for sure but I'm still worried that I'm not. I need to loosen up.

so accurate and I am both. HAHAHAHA

" Me: And I know, feminism, blah, blah, blah, but honestly your job really impresses me, and intimidates me, and I feel like you’re up on this pedestal and I’m just so lucky that you picked me and like me and want to spend time with me and like, I don’t deserve you, and when you figure that out, when you see the real me, you’re going to realize that I’m not who you thought I was and you’ll leave me.

Him: Oh, that happens to me all the time. Women put me on a pedestal, and I feel this pressure, because I know I’m not who they think I am, who they want me to be. So I reject them before they have a chance to see the real me and reject me. Ready to go? "

from: http://www.theestablishment.co/2016/08/04/if-people-had-honest-first-date-conversations/

So it's over, just like that, and none of us are to blame. 

So here are your house rules for getting over him:

1. Do not look at his Twitter.

2. Do not look at his Facebook. 

3. Do not look at your past Viber messages.

4. Do not look at your past text messages.

5. Do not look at the future and think of 'what-could've-beens'

You will probably fail. That's okay. These things take time. Forgive yourself.

It's Love Yourself October!

You saw it coming

But it still hurts

And it will hurt for a while

Until it doesn't

You've been through this before

Next year wala na yan

Hindi ko alam na anlakas pala ng tama ko sakanya

here i go crying again

Guess i just didnt expect that it will hurt this much

That wasn't even two months

Ano ba

Its just a blip in time

So why does it hurt so much

Meron bang heartbreak leave shet

Buti nalang tapos na wedding shoots niyo for this month

If I had only known

That that would be the last time I would see him - as us (even if there's no official 'us')

I would've hugged him tighter

Kissed him harder

Looked at him deeper

Held his hands closer

Talked to him better

...

I miss him

This sucks

I knew

what he just went through

still i thought i could make his life

easier, better somehow

less sucky

failed anyway

...

its okay

no one's at fault

wrong timing lang talaga i guess

and its not my responsibility

ang sakit lang

ang sakit lang talaga

Yung newly-minted hurt ka and gusto mo nalang magfast forward to a couple of weeks in the future so you wouldnt feel this damned pain anymore

i am quite okay now.

Haha ambilis eh no.

...

I guess it just hurts being the dumpee. An ego thing. Yung 'ano ba naman yun, di mo ko pinaglaban'? But if the tables had turned, di ko rin naman ipaglalaban HAHA. And hello, wala pa kayong dalawang buwan. Wala ka pang nameet sa friends niya, sa family niya (and vice versa); even your boss and coworker that you are with 8+ hours a day dont even know about his existence. Tapos feeling mo kanina super heartbroken ka na? HA HA HA I guess i just idealized the relationship post-"breakup" because... well because I thought we really could've been something. But looking back, during the whole thing I was not 'FUCK YES' all the time, we lack conversational chemistry, and the past few weeks of him pulling back was excruciating. If he didn't bring up ending things, I would've. 

What I really miss is his physical presence - since more on physical lang din naman talaga tong relasyon na 'to. I guess this means its time to meet new people.

There are still moments when i feel a pang of hurt; it lingers for a while but then goes away again. So generally 95% of the time im okay, but the 5% i remember random moments and i miss him, but probably its just the physical things i miss and not him, as a person. 

I dont feel like crying anymore though, and thats good. Looking forward to the time when he wont cross my mind at all. 

Tried tinder-ing again. He still has the best written profile. Sigh. Sana may magspark sa mga match na to haha

Bea stop

Torturing yourself with what if scenarios

"Screw reminiscing

When a fling is over, it’s important to put things in perspective as soon as possible. This was no all-time love, you were not destined for great things, and it was not meant to be.

Don’t attach emotion to things you did together; you’ll enjoy them more when you do them again with somebody who means more to you romantically.

Be grateful for the things they introduced to you, but don’t wallow in the shared experiences. They don’t care; neither should you."

From here: https://theguyliner.com/2012/07/11/how-to-get-over-being-flung-from-a-fling/

YES YES YES THANK YOU

Back to regular programming

Naiyak ako sa sasakyan kanina

Just felt a bit lonely

I miss the feeling of being liked by someone

:(

What do you want the world to learn from you?

how to concretize 'slowly pulling away and being distant untili he disappears' into a halloween costume